"State law will not permit boys with BTTB to be kept in protective custody, unfortunately. Government officials and visiting heads of state are kept aware of any BTTB patient’s presence and guided through evasive maneuvers. The general public, however, remains at risk. Therefore, there are several protocols in place to identify, isolate, humiliate, and shame BTTB patients, all in the interest of protecting potential victims. George will be issued an electric guitar by the state of Delaware and forced to become a musician. He will then be required to sing songs that mark him as being Bad To The Bone and describe the threat that he poses. If he forms a band, the name of that band will be mandated to sound destructive and threatening (“Wreckers,” “Destructors,” I’m just brainstorming here). Ideally, the music will be kind of grating and somewhat overplayed."
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A Memo From the Head Nurse Regarding Proper Care of Patients Born Bad to the Bone.
sick of this? find something that makes me office-laugh harder than mcsweeney’s. dare ya.
